Ashamed....

Granpa is really looking granpash in this picture...

Ready to see the tiger...
Life is good on my granpa's lap...while driving the car....(we were going 2 mph as you can see the animals were all around us)
This is how close you can get to them...I was holding Thiago's hand because he was afraid they would bite him as they tried to get the food from his hand... (Thiago is my 10 yr old brother)
My turn....it was so fun!!!


Grandpa with the girls...I think he is especially in love with Bia...
us taking the train to go to a "gosh" forsaken place with my great aunt...
My parents and Czuba...a good friend and returned missionary from my parent's missiona- Portugal Lisbon
Isabelle at the Mercado Municipal- 25 de marco...
Bia having fun looking at the monkeys at Simba Safari
The living room of my parent's apartment...
Czuba and Bia...they look SOOOO good in this picture...
Our little family...without my chubby Bia...
ironing...and momma on the back



So today I got a good reality check of my own. I went to this lady's house from my ward. Let's call her Mary. She lived with her husband in the States for 10 years. Her hubby finished a bachelor's and a masters degree and they had to come back in a hurry because they found out the had leukemia, which when she was diagnosed the people at the hospital asked her" do you have 250,000 dollars?" She responded negatively and they said they wouldn't be able to treat her. She came back to survive really...they still haven't got their lives in place. I have been thinking a lot lately and the conclusion is really shame. I mean, really what kind of challenge would it be to come back to our country get a wonderful job and money to spare without any REAL hard work involved?what would be the lesson learned?how would we grow our trust and depency upon the Lord if we were just handed everything we thought we deserved?? I see so many people that still struggle despite their qualifications...why would we be any different?

So I guess today I come to the realization that things won't ever be easy or painless....(as much as we "knew" things wouldn't be easy you never really understand it until you are here) It's just how opposition in all things work. Perhaps it's not so much what I go through but what I learn from it and how I face it that will make all the difference in the end.

So cheers to gratefulness and to all the blessings that I have been giving....and cheers to everyone who has to work hard to make things work....because this is the ride that we accepted to take and we have to make it a joyful one....so I'm making mine a joyful ride...no matter what...

ok...gotta go...

:)

what I've learned...

So here a few things I wanted to register because I have been learning so much lately:

1- marriage is a partnership of equals- if you want the husband to do it, you do it first and he will follow behind you. Even if sometimes you have to ever so gently remind them of the "equal" partnership and that our job is the hardest job out there.

2- kids respond to love example so much better...it's so hard not to lose it sometimes though...

3- personal commandements can be treaky and crazy inspirations that you get from time to time, but they are OHHHH so personal and NEED to be followed. I'm still battleling with mine ;)

4- An empty mind is the foundation of evil. One must always keep the mind occupied and focused in order to avoid trouble.

5- Sometimes (quite often actually) in life being quite is better than anything you could say. I think that truth is not as important as knowing when to "shut up" is....and i'm really not undermining the value of always speaking the truth....agian...just something I learned.

6- if you work hard enough for something it will mean lots more than if it's just given to ya!

And the list goes on...but those are just a few that I wanted to mention.

Mat keeps going for interviews and they all require you have your "own" company. So instead of hiring the person they hire the service. Does that make sense? So now we are in the process of doing that and some other good leads.
I just want to settle down!!!!! It's all good though...we have been reatly blessed and I think the Lord is again taking us to unexpected and dark places...but we will keep trusting him that this is the best route we can get and that later on we will look back and see the worders He has worked in our lives.

Something else I wanna tell ya!! "Socialist" medicine rocks. (hehehehehe, at least for the girls it does). Here in Brazil if you don't have a private insurance they send you to the government's insurance. It's not like medicaid, it's more like the insurance system they have in Canada. Anyway, it sucks for adults, but for kids so far so good...at least where I've been. It's poor and ugly, but the treatment is great and that's all I care. After living here for over a month now I'm getting used to the poorness, ugliness and dirtyness of places...and I'm even dressing the part cuz usually I'm so afraid of being robbed if I look nice when I go to those places. Today I was about to put my make up on and I decided leave it off cuz I wasn't going anywhere where people would have make up on. Something really interesting about

Even though we went to the doc at 11:30 am and left and 3 pm the girls have a GREAT pediatrician and they have all their vaccines and stuff in. It wastes my entire day, but at least they are doing well and have competent doctors caring for them...I just hate to be always vigilant of the sick little kids around them...they all wanna touch each other's hands,toys...it's freaking hard work to keep them away from other kids...they wanna play!!!the other day a little guy fell in love with Izzy and then his mom comes up to me after his consult and says "He really has pnemonia!!!" and I was like "&@^&#%%^@#" Arghhhhhhhh....I bathed Izzy in hand sanitizer and went on with life....sometimes you can only pray for the best and wish you could punch that irresponsible mom's little face, hehehehehe

Oh!and by the way...Bia's dinner today was: mandioquinha (yucca rootish/potato kinda thing), carrot and chicken....all in mash potato style...and SHE LOVED IT! I can't believe my little girl is already eating solids....SO grown up!

somes pictures....

It took me a long time to get this picture out....so here is a little bit of the concrete jungle I am living in. I am actually startying to see the beauty in it!!!! I don't know why it takes so long for pictures to be posted in this blog....i think I really haven't posted pictures in a while heh???hahahahahaha



Bea and grandpa taking a much needed nap....he's enjoying her so much!!!!


Izzy trying to be mommy and carrying a HUGE purse....
The concrete jungle...


The graffitti is part of our daily lives now...hehehehe

ok....I know it's not much...but at least something right???i'll have more tomorrow....

Just testing...

So, I'm trying to post some recent pics...and 'm not sure why i's not working....but it uploaded this really old one...hahahahahaha...so here's to a little bit of fun in this blog :)

(Does Izzy look like me???)

The 5th largest city is the world: welcome to Sao Paulo

So I promised a post with tons of pictures, but I'm having a hard time finding my camera cable (am I translating things to portugueses already?I'm not sure cable is the right word)...I think the dang thing is in the ship on the way to this "wonderful" country. Do you feel a little sarcasm already?hahhaahha. Well needless to say I've been less than impressed with Brazil since I've been back. Not only the social differences are horrendous(sp?) I've been really anxious about life in general. I've had to use the SUS to take the girls to doctor's appointment and THANK GOD this country has a "socialist" health care for those that cannot afford a private insurance. The girls have had great treatment so far though and Bia has come down with a nasty ear infection and she is taking a round of antibiotics. Izzy is also sick but we are using the nebulizer and she is not coughing half as much as she was when we first got here.

It's humid!!!!!!My skin is great, but I cannot feel clean during the day. I keep sweating and I have to say I'm pretty sure hell will be humid and heaven will have the perfect climate like Brasilia, hehehehehehehe

So there are two things I have found out about my life that I hadn't previously realized, two things you gotta understand about me: 1) All my life I've been spoiled rotten for being a good girls in my family and I have never been really extremely exposed to poverty and unfortunetly poverty bothers me 2) I'm a little on the naive side for when it comes to real life experiences and I plan on staying that way and raising my children that way. Let me explain myself because I just sounded like a huge jerk. I am really shocked with how things worked in Sao Paulo. I was raised in the capital (Brasilia) in a clean and organized city and now I've introduced to PURE mess. Sao Paulo is caos. I have to say I'm learning how to like it, but it's definitely a process. The pollution and noise drive me nuts, but there's everything you can possibly imagine at your fingertips. The variety is amazing. People are SOOOOOO nice and I have to say I thought people in Rexburg were nice, but I think it's even better in Sao Paulo :) There are soooo many people, it's crazy....we took the subway two days after we got here and went downtown. I don't think I've ever seen so many people together. It was amusing to say the least....we got talking in the subway and met two really nice ladies who were in love with the girls and then we went our ways....people in Sao Paulo are just cool you know? I just love the people....I love brazilian people...their hearts, their smiles...their everything :)

Now the poverty, it bothers me. Because I'm not used to seeing so many poor places. You have to remember I lived in Rexburg for almost 7 years. Clean, neat, organized, small, beautiful.....I come to the polar opposite: dirty, disorganized, crowded and sometimes pretty plain ugly. I catch myself in aw just wondering WHAT IN THE HECK AM I DOING HERE?????

My ear fellow blog friends...I am yet to find out what my purpose is....but I'm sure there's one. Well, I have to hold on to that, because if I don't I will go crazy. Mt has gone to three interviews so far and we haven't heard anything. Next week there's more. People tell us we need to be patient and that opportunity is there. We are doing a lot of networking and the Lord will bless us. It just bugs me that in the meantime we have to live off my parents. I guess I really never learned to be "getter" I like giving a whole lot better than receiving things.

In Brazil everything is smaller: the toothpaste, cars, cups, portions, people, streets, the bread, apartments...EVERYTHING...it's funny and frustating, hehehehehe. I'm still getting used to all of that too :)

We are living in a tiny (and when I mean tiny, I mean a 3 bedroom apartment which is where my parents live with 8 of us). I have taken pics of our sleeping arrangements and it's pretty funny actually. We have managed to establish a routine and we are officially "settled" as far as figuring out how and when to do things.

Food: the fruits and vegetables are amazing....soooooo much better than in the States.... I guess we have to win in at least one aspect right?hahahahaha

Friends: Another thing you have to know about me is the older I get the harder it is for me to change and make more friends. I just love my friends so much and I was so comfortable with them that it just takes effort to want to get to know more people. I'm pretty open, but I have changed so much thru the years that now it takes will power to go out make friends and then be open to them. I need to change for the better!!!! I haven't felt a great need to socialize and I think it's partly because I'm still battling with myself about being here and what I need to do, and how to establish a better routine, how to take advantage of the resources I've been given etc...I need to get out of my shell though and I don't know why it's so hard. (Thank goodness Aline is here otherwise I'd be in deep depression by now, hahahahaha) I think Heavenly Father has a funny sense of humor, every time he knows I'm comfortable I move and then I have to change my life and make friends and fall in love with people and cultures and places and then he moves me again :) (is that why I'm still resistant to change?hahahaha)

Well, this post was just an update. I think I can transfer my pics to my mom's pc tomorrow. So you can have a better idea of how our lives are here. I will just leave you today with information and a lot of complaining :) hahahahahahaha. I'm really sorry I don't have pics yet. I will have them pretty soon :)

Thanks for worrying and praying for us. We are happy close to family and enjoying their company. I mean truly happy and blessed. Even with all my complaining, we are healthy and Heavenly Father has never left our side. I'm just getting used to the ride but I recognize that we have all we need for now and we just have to trust that whatever is the best will end up happening in the end!!!!!!!

Cheers everyone

Barb

Last night in Rexburg....

We have had a crazy busy and fun last few days....I think the way Mat described in his testimony today at church really tells it all "I cannot think of a different word but grattitude". That's how I feel right now. We have had an outpouring of help and friendship throughout the days....People calling offering to take the kids, meals at all times (yummy by the way). We have eaten at our friend's houses for a long time now....We have a lot of people coming over to our home to help us clean up and patch holes on the walls, scrub the floors,ovens, cabinets etc....I've had help packing our luggage and anything else you can probably think of. I truly am GRATEFUL.

I cannot help but think how much of a better friend I could have been, how much more I could have done for others and how much I have learned. I truly LOVE this city and it has become my home for the past 7 years. It's hard to leave it all here and go to the unknown. I really am to the point where I am just AFRAID of leaving Rexburg. I don't think I would mind just staying....I know we have lots to learn wherever we end up, but it will be hard.

We've had friends through "good bye parties" for the past 2 weeks and it has been amazing. They sang for us, they were just THERE so I want to take the time to thank them here because I know that it doesn't take very much from me to thank people, but it means the world to them:

1)Anna: first and foremost I think I have to thank you. For holding on to our friendship thru the good the bad and the ugly :) For being so helpful and so wonderful even when you are expecting twins with wild Thomas running around. Thank you for being part of my success as you helped me graduate,be a better mom and a better friend. I really wish I could have done more for you and been there more for you, but I hope you know that I have learned to be a better person because of you. I want you to know how much I truly love you from the bottom of my heart, and how much I blindly trust you :) Please come live close to me soon? I've become spoiled :) You are family to me, the look alike sister I've never had and always wanted to have :) Remember you can always count on me and that I will always always be there for you. No matter what.

2) Helga: You are just amazing.I can never keep up with your energy and willingness to help and come over for a good laugh. I just love you to pieces. Thank you for your friendship and endless help with the girls and for just listening to me :) CONGRATS on your graduation as this marks a great accomplishment and a huge victory...and know that you are loved wherever you are!!

3)Jana e Samuelson: I really love and admire you. You have been an angel to us and I know that you need to be praised every day for the person you are and whatch you have taught me. I know you will do great things in the future and help Sam to be even a better man than he already is, because you are just that kind of person, You make others better because of your presence and example.

Johan: BIXOOOOOOO. I don't know what to say except that,hehehehehehehe, I think it summs it up. I know Mat will miss you, (and I will miss you too) THANK YOU for all your help, you have been there for us every time we needed and that means a lot to our family. I hope you have felt the same way and that we can always be there for you too....I just love you :) and I hope we live close to each other again...if not, when we all become rich, we can go on cruises together and laugh our heads off from when we were poor and gave each other $5 dollar gift cards from Applebee's (you'll know what I mean pretty soon)

Ana Amelia: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! You are an amazing women and I love you. I've learned immensely from you and enjoyed every minute we spent together as rommates and friends. I wish you the best wherever you go from here on out and I want you to know that I love and appreciate you :) I will miss you

Paulinha e Cefas: I really hated that we became so close as we were about to leave. I wish you guys had been here all along. I love you and I have found true friends in you. I know our lives will cross paths in the future. Paulinha thanks for all the help that you have given me and all the yummy meals you have served. For laughing so hard together until Mat falls asleep cuz it's so late and he can't handle it anymore :) OBRIGADA OBRIGADA OBRIGADA. You will be forever loved and remembered. We'll see you in a few months ;)

Caroles: Angelita loves you :) I wish I could be here for the a little while longer :) You will be such a great mom....and Bebelle won't hate you in a few years...you will be her cool aunt forever :) Please make some charming boys for my girls after you marry and I will make some charming boys for your girls so we can be family :) I think we actually are family at heart :) I love you and I appreciate all the help and good conversations we've had and memorable times.

Friends: If your name was not specifically mentioned it does NOT mean you are not loved and appreciated. I just felt a great need to show gratitude to those that have had a huge hand in our lives and have helped us so far shape who we areand who we want to become.

I don't have words anymore...I really don't know what to think and feel....I actually feel a little empty and I wish I didn't have to say good-bye. As I think about all the fun and lessons that I have learn I think most of all I have to thank my Heavenly Father. Not only after these years here I recognize my complete dependency on Him and my need to just follow HIS WILL. I actually need to thank Him for sending me the friends and acquaintances in the past years that have taught me so much.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU is really all I can say. We are blessed individuals for all that we have and truly are rich because of our friends.

I now 'bid you farewell' as my next post will be in Brazil....where I will blog more and let you know what is going on in our lives a lot more frequently. I hope the Lord blesses you wherever you are and whatever you do and may God be with you till we meet again :') I can hardly keep my crying under control as I think of this song...

With much love,

Barbara

I've been tagged a while ago....

1. When is your "engagement" anniversary?

September 17th, 2005...just 3 months before we go married...and I thought it was forever until he actually proposed...i was so anxious!
2. When is your "marriage" anniversary?

December 17th, 2005 (we actually count the temple date instead of the civil wedding- for those of you who don't know, in Brazil they don't recognize temple marriage and so we got married civily on the 15th, drove the entire day of the 16th to the closest temple and got sealed bright and early on the 17th)

3. How long have you known your spouse:

I think the first time I met him was august of 2000. So technically almost 10 years...WOW!

4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged?

after he came back from his mission we started sating again in July and got engaged in september

5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?

It was at the Oeiras chapel in Portugal. I saw him with cargo pants, a shirt that matched the pant and a little hat(bone)...I thought he was really handsome and he had the bad boyish look to him, which I loved and also the most beautiful green eyes :) I think I feel for him then... :))))

6. What is you and your spouse's full names:

Mathew Kretly Pretel Busto

Barbara Roque da Costa Pretel (Yeah! I refused to take the Busto)

7. Do you have any children:

Yeap, two girls...2 1/2 yrs old and 6 months

8. How many - boys/girls:

2 girls....as I said before....heheheheh

9. Do you have any house pets:

No, not yet...I really want a god though....

11. Do you live in the country or town/city:

I would call rexburg country, but we are moving in a few days to Sao Paulo, the 5th largest city in the world: POLLUTION here I come!!!!!

12. What are some of your favorite activities together:

I love to watch movies with him and cuddle. Mostly out main thing has been talking lately though, because he is never home with his last semester of school and I miss talking to grown ups :)

13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot:

Any beach

14. When did you first kiss?

It was at a temple trip to the Madrid Temple in Spain. I can't remember exactly, it's in my diary. I think June 22nd, 2002

15. What church do you attend?

LDS Church in Rexburg

16. Did you get married in a church?

Campinas, Sao Paulo Temple

17. What town is your current address at:

Rexburg, Idaho (and we looooove it)

18. Do you work or stay at home:
Stay at home....and it's a FULL TIME JOB!

19. Where did you go on your honeymoon:

Maceio, Alagoas Brasil and visited places around there...

20.What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?

I don't think I ever gave him anything funny....hahahahaha. I pretty much gave him clothes, cuz he needed them...

21.How long have you been together?

If you count dating time before his mission and after 6 years . If not 4 1/2 of marriage.

22. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

We became friends for about 2 years before we started to date. Dating is a little different in Latin America (or Portugal for that matter) you become exclusive once you start dating...so I started dating him when I turned 16t.

23. Who asked who out?

We were listening to Djavan sitting next to each other on the bus heading to Madrid and at 5 in the morning as I was falling asleep he kissed me, needless to say I woke up right away...hahahahahaha

25.Where do you each work or go to school?

We both went to BYU-Idaho. He is not working right now and my work is within the walls of my home. ;)

26. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Figuring out how to live together without killing each other :) hehehehehehe. I think once we added on the kids, the stress level went up, but we are both very bad tempered people and so patience is the hardest thing for us. Also dealing with stress and money has proved to also be a huge challenge. We are able to make it all work out though.

27. Did you go to the same school?

Yes, BYU-Idaho. The best school ever ;)

28. Are you from the same home town?

Nope. He is from Lisbon, Portugal(he was born in Brazil and grew up in Pt) and I'm from Brasilia-Brazil

29. Who is smarter?

Depends on what you are talking about....but we both are....what kind of question is this?

30. Who is more sensitive?

Me!!!! He is emotionally challenged...hehehehehe

31.Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Applebee's yummmmmmmmmmm

32. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Brazil?

34. What attracted you about him/her?

His green eyes, his bad boyish look, how he was taller than me (I have a problem with short guys), how he made me feel like a princess and the amount of fun we had together....but mostly and AT FIRST his amazing looks :)hehehehehe

35. Who does the cooking?

I do

36. Who is more social?

I think we both are.....

37. Who is the neat-freak?
I am for sure

38. Who is more stubborn?

Hahahahaha, we are tied on that one

39. Who hogs the bed?
He does

40. Who wakes up earlier?

He does because of school

41. Where was your first date?

? we don't know. I asked him and he also doesn't remember. Really we don't have dates in Brasil, it's more like you start dating and then you go out as boyfriend and girlfriend. If you are not dating when you go out you are just hanging out with friends....at least for me and my group of friends was like that.

42. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?
He beat me by one (he had 4 and I had 3) but he def kissed more....he had kissing buddies...arghhh

43. Do you get flowers often?

No, but I would love to :)

44. How do you spend the holidays?

We have lived away from both of our families since we got married and so we don't know, I would imagine we would split Christmas and New year's taking turns with each family.

45. Who is more jealous?

I AM. Crazy jealous lady....yeap it's me ! :)

46. How long did it take to get serious?

After his mission it took one kiss :)

47. Who eats more?

I eat more when I'm pregnant and he eats more on a daily basis...

48. Who does the laundry?

I do, he never helps with laundry, he hates it.

49. Who’s better with the computer?

Funny question. Def him....he is a computer programmer.

50. Leave a piece of advice for the other couples:
My grandma said this to us on our wedding: Respect each other and be selfless. It still is hard on us to be selfless all the time, but we are working on it and it really is the only way. I find that if I try to think of him as I do things, he tends to respond better and apparently starts being selfless himself. Also have fun together and LAUGH together. It has helped us thru the hard times and it definetely improves the day to day routine and stress :)))