So today I felt like writing a little more about our life. I'm in a self-pity mode,so forgive me if I sound ungrateful. I know we have a lot to be thankful for. We have a family that is willing and can help us thru this unemployment situation. I'm sad to say though that it hurts my ego (we shouldn't really have an ego right?it's a form of pride, and no form of pride is a good thing to have- from all that I have studied about it so far...) Well, it does hurt. It makes me upset that I can't go on a date with my hubby, or buy diapers and wipes or anything like that on my own. I just feel plain stupid using my mom's money to buy diapers and other necessities of life. Our savings are gone,for savings as a student is almost a non existing thing, and that's what got into me today. All the expectations that I had that we would graduate and move on to a better life are pretty shattered at this point. I don't know how much we will get paid and I have never lived in Brazil as a home maker, so to say that I am clueless about prices and life in Brazil is an understatement.
Some of you are probably wondering. Is there nothing else u can do to stay? We have tried different venues but we don't feel right about any of them....despite the darkness of leaving the states, at least there is the feeling that we are doing the right thing for us. (notice FOR US, not necessarily other people that have been in the same situation)
Since last post I have been pretty much well and keeping up the faith for a new job and our new life, however we haven't heard anything from any company and it's not because of lack of applying for jobs....Mat is close to reaching 100 companies he has applied for now. Emails back and forth from people we know and lots of prayers later...nothing. I'm sure it's not the time to have our prayers answered then....and my "natural man" is speaking louder than my "faithful man" side therefore the pitiful mood. I wonder all day what we will take to Brazil...where we are gonna live, if I'm gonna have to live with my parents for a long time etc...
There is a nice possibility though. My mom is looking at buying an apartment in Sao Paulo and she mentioned how we could take over their rent if their purchase pans out. It would be nice, cuz I would know the things I would need in her apartment, what I could take and what I would get rid of.
There's so much going on and nothing really substancial to be mentioned...so I guess I just have to keep ya'll informed as we go. For now the only concrete thing we have is the date we are leaving the States. We are leaving April 13th from SLC ...out trip will take less than 20 hours total,which is the advantage of going to SAo Paulo instead of Brasilia (it would take another 8 hours or more, because there are only 2 planes a day from SP to BSB)...it's also a good thing cuz the girls are a handful and so I don't think it would be very pleasent after more than 20 hours. One thing I'm sure, Isabelle is taking some sort of medicine to sleep thru the flights, cuz she CAN'T be awake for most of it....SHE CANNOT or people in the plane will throw me off of there... :) hehehehehehehe
Sooooo....we are leaving in about a month....I can't wait and at the same time I can't even describe how much I hate this whole thing....I guess this is really when the Lord proves us....
Another aspect about leaving that I'm excited other than the fact that we haven't been there as a family in 4 1/2 years is how much good food my daughters are gonna get. Fruits and veggies are going to rule the house and I can't wait...I miss the delicious fruits that we have available at out finger tips :) Bia will start baby food there (I'm waiting until she is 6 months) ,so it's going to be even better for her :)
We'd like to thank all the prayers and comments here....I really appreciate it...and looking at the bright side there's always someone else in a worse situation.....hence the apology from the begginning about being whiny :)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
So, no light at the end of the tunnel yet :) But we are still going strong. Still researching options for moving or whether we should buy our things there. We are leaning towards taking our things, but we'll see.
Mat has been applying for a lot of places and we got in contact with a guy that has a lot of work experience in Brazil and was giving Mat a lot of good options. We are hoping to hear back from him in a few days....let's hope something works out. He said that as a computer programmer Mat doesn't have a lot of growth to to thru, but as a manager in the same area he could be making bank. So let's hope he has a management position for him right?? :) hehehehehe
I am on the other hand ging crazy with all the moving,selling and figuring out life after this ordeal...but I'm much better. We talked to our bishop and he was just magnificent. I will miss him dearly and especially our ward. I feel like we have been here for a reason, so the Lord won't let us down from here on out. I also have decided to make this 3 months completely fun and enjoyable because we will take fond memories of our time here in Rexburg and the States I will miss this like crazy, and I'm sure it will be hard to adapt back home, but I'm looking forward to it. However, u haven't seen the last of me yet :) hihihihi
Excited for change....
PS: THANK U everyone who so dearly leave comments and their concern to us. We appreciate your prayers and support at this time. I will try to always comment on ur blogs too :) Thanks for all the advice and love. We feel very loved :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Soooo our life has completely turned around in a matter of 2 days. Last week Mat was applying for his OPT so he could work here in the States after his graduation. A lot of confusion from the international office later,we come to find out that he can't apply for it because his CPT(an authorization to work off campus while he is going to school) had been expired and he didn't know. He just assumed that because the international student office hadn't told him anything that it was still valid and the office had no idea either. So because he can't apply for this OPT our advisor told us we need to move back to Brazil.
A lot of tears,desperation, and rage later we are "at peace" with the situation. We are still researching about options on what we can do and if the situation can be changed, but for now we are working towards going back. The scariest part of it is that we not only have two kids now, the salaries are pretty low compared to a starting salary here in the USA. It's like going back to student life with maybe a little bit more. We are coming to find out we can't really afford to take what we have because it's all used and not worth very much and we would have to pay about 10.000 dollars to ship things there. (and that's because we are not paying any taxes at customs) SO we have no idea if we are taking things or buying them there. We will keep y'all informed :D
To say we are terrified is an understatement. We have stepped into the dark and have NO idea what's going to happen. So pray for us and if you happen to fast, include us in it please, because we are going to need all the help we can get. I'm sure the Lord has a bigger plan but because I have no idea what it is, it makes me really afraid to think about what life is going to be especially with our little girls. We don't have a job yet, but we are madly looking for one. We are using all resources we can and something is going to work out- IT HAS TO. We just don't know what it is yet :)
One thing I know, this is probably the only way I would be going back to Brazil for a low salary. I always wanted to go back, but with a stable situation,so I guess our prayers have been answered. We have been praying for a long time to be guided to where we need to go after Mat's graduation and the answer was pretty straight forward. We needed to learn to maybe be more humble and rely on the Lord completely. A lot of lessons were learned and are still out there to be learned by us.
This is more of a general idea about what's happening and I'm sure you will have more questions and I'll be glad to answer any of them.
So cheers to unexpected change and how our lives are totally not controlled by us :)