So today I felt like writing a little more about our life. I'm in a self-pity mode,so forgive me if I sound ungrateful. I know we have a lot to be thankful for. We have a family that is willing and can help us thru this unemployment situation. I'm sad to say though that it hurts my ego (we shouldn't really have an ego right?it's a form of pride, and no form of pride is a good thing to have- from all that I have studied about it so far...) Well, it does hurt. It makes me upset that I can't go on a date with my hubby, or buy diapers and wipes or anything like that on my own. I just feel plain stupid using my mom's money to buy diapers and other necessities of life. Our savings are gone,for savings as a student is almost a non existing thing, and that's what got into me today. All the expectations that I had that we would graduate and move on to a better life are pretty shattered at this point. I don't know how much we will get paid and I have never lived in Brazil as a home maker, so to say that I am clueless about prices and life in Brazil is an understatement.
Some of you are probably wondering. Is there nothing else u can do to stay? We have tried different venues but we don't feel right about any of them....despite the darkness of leaving the states, at least there is the feeling that we are doing the right thing for us. (notice FOR US, not necessarily other people that have been in the same situation)
Since last post I have been pretty much well and keeping up the faith for a new job and our new life, however we haven't heard anything from any company and it's not because of lack of applying for jobs....Mat is close to reaching 100 companies he has applied for now. Emails back and forth from people we know and lots of prayers later...nothing. I'm sure it's not the time to have our prayers answered then....and my "natural man" is speaking louder than my "faithful man" side therefore the pitiful mood. I wonder all day what we will take to Brazil...where we are gonna live, if I'm gonna have to live with my parents for a long time etc...
There is a nice possibility though. My mom is looking at buying an apartment in Sao Paulo and she mentioned how we could take over their rent if their purchase pans out. It would be nice, cuz I would know the things I would need in her apartment, what I could take and what I would get rid of.
There's so much going on and nothing really substancial to be mentioned...so I guess I just have to keep ya'll informed as we go. For now the only concrete thing we have is the date we are leaving the States. We are leaving April 13th from SLC ...out trip will take less than 20 hours total,which is the advantage of going to SAo Paulo instead of Brasilia (it would take another 8 hours or more, because there are only 2 planes a day from SP to BSB)...it's also a good thing cuz the girls are a handful and so I don't think it would be very pleasent after more than 20 hours. One thing I'm sure, Isabelle is taking some sort of medicine to sleep thru the flights, cuz she CAN'T be awake for most of it....SHE CANNOT or people in the plane will throw me off of there... :) hehehehehehehe
Sooooo....we are leaving in about a month....I can't wait and at the same time I can't even describe how much I hate this whole thing....I guess this is really when the Lord proves us....
Another aspect about leaving that I'm excited other than the fact that we haven't been there as a family in 4 1/2 years is how much good food my daughters are gonna get. Fruits and veggies are going to rule the house and I can't wait...I miss the delicious fruits that we have available at out finger tips :) Bia will start baby food there (I'm waiting until she is 6 months) ,so it's going to be even better for her :)
We'd like to thank all the prayers and comments here....I really appreciate it...and looking at the bright side there's always someone else in a worse situation.....hence the apology from the begginning about being whiny :)